That stupid little four letter word

'You sighed and I was lost in you, weeks could've past for all I knew.
You were the blanket of the over-world and so I couldn't say,
I wouldn't say "no". But they all said, "you're too young to even know,
just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him"
but oh, now, my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
but I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
so they can tell me I was wrong...

'But they weren't there beneath your stare,
and they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
So I couldn't say "no"'

- Missy Higgins

There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to fight popular sentiment. At least I sure hope there is, or it may just be me! Frankly the idea of facing a shower of disapproval and judgements about what I have chosen to do with my life has never been particularly appealing to me and I'm sure many of you are in the same boat. It is, after all, such fear that keeps us behaving in such a predictable fashion for the most part. Never mind that it's obvious that what anyone else thinks can have no real bearing on you, and that no one really has the right to assess your life - nevertheless people can made a real shit time of it for you if they don't agree with your actions. I suppose that's how we cluster ourselves to an extent. We make friends with those of similar ideals and expectations so that we only need ever be marginally morally tolerant. Because it's hard to be tolerant. It is truly difficult to face a person who has chosen to do something that you find reprehensible and just say "Well, that's their right and as long as it doesn't impose on my rights, I have to let it be." Keeping in mind how difficult it is for people to do this it's obvious why people choose to conceal, or are ashamed of actions that diverge from the mainstream. But I guess I discovered something that makes it worth while going off-track and risking public opinion. And it's kind of liberating, to find something that is so powerful that it will give you the courage to go somewhere you never thought you would.

I try to keep my blog to a recount of happenings only rather than a discussion of feelings. This is a public space after all. But there's some really amazing stuff going on in my life at the moment and I wanted to share a little of it. I have been lucky enough to find the kind of love that is life changing, not because I am now tied to another, but because that other has opened up a whole world of possibilities for me that I never knew existed. Nothing lasts forever and who knows where this is going, but this experience will always mean more to me than I could hope to explain here.