one green man

On Saturday night I went to a party thrown by a fellow student from my linguistics course. The host was a bloke from Saudi Arabia who I would describe as something of a 'social networker'. He is very eager to make new friends and is always inviting people to have coffee with him. I should have no problem with this, only it serves to highlight my immediate suspicion of and tendancy to automatically repulse those who go to great lengths to establish friendship. Whenever he has asked me for coffee I immediately start making excuses, even though quite often I do have half an hour to spare. I feel bad about it because this is what internationals moan about; that the locals don't want to mix with them. I would want to chat to him, but I don't want to go by myself with him on anything that could be interpreted at later stages as a date. Discussing this issue with my Norwegian friend, who I had no trouble getting to know, we decided the problem was caused by the boy-girl thing. Had a girly Saudi asked me for coffee I would have been much more likely to have said yes.

So is it an indicator of a raging arrogance on my part that has me believe that a boy would only ask me for coffee because he wants to make a move? Or is it a justified reaction given that our behaviour is shaped by experience and clearly there has been a pattern established in the past whereby an invitation to coffee does not simply mean coffee. Perhaps some from each basket? Anyway, after persisting in asking people out for coffee all semester this friend seeking man has decided to invite everyone round for a party. He consulted me in class on the matter of how to throw a party in Australia. Just as well he asked because it seems like parties in Saudi Arabia are quite different. He refused to just sit down and talk to us all night, a symptom of his upbringing where the hosts do not sit down while entertaining. No matter how often we told him we had enough food/drink/music, he was never satisfied that we were enjoying ourselves. The result of all this questioning and concern about our activities and enjoyment level was that our attention was drawn constantly to the function itself rather than just being able to enjoy the siutuation. I actually did rather enjoy myself - there were plenty of boys of middle eastern origin there with stories about their homeland to talk to, there was heaps of chocolate (!), there was wine that H and I brought with us. Aside from being asked if I was really enjoying myself every 15 minutes it was a pleasant evening. The best part was when the neighbour came over. A baby faced Indian man with carefully crafted hair, vast sparkling eyes and fingers full of emerald and gold rings broke onto set and assumed centre stage to announce his presence and introduce himself with much ado. Clearly accustomed to a more refined audience, he was alarmed when his Queen's English was mocked. The words 'natty' and 'dapper' jump into my head when trying to describe this man - I think his immaculate clothing probably cost more than my life is worth. It seems his family is ridiculously wealthy and all have rather important jobs in India, or for India and that leaves him with plenty of leisure time for things like adorning his fingers with sparkles. He really was something to behold - but not for the reasons I think he would appreciate!